FAT

That's right, Fat. I'm fat. I'm not particularly proud of it, but it's pretty obvious. I'm not sure why people think they can hide the fact that they are not thin. I don't really bother with it anymore. I was never really skinny per say, I used to be "in shape" when I was younger but I was always larger than some of the other girls. I have huge wrists and huge feet, which never get any smaller regardless of my weight. I'm generally larger than most ladies.

However, I do want to be healthier. I've been thinking about what I eat in front of Ham, and I am afraid that he has already started to pick up my bad habits. He seems happy to eat only chicken nuggets, and we eat out more than I'd like. I know that this can very well decide whether he will struggle with food or not. My mom fed me mac and cheese, McDonalds, Hostess snacks, cookies, chips, candy, and pretty much everything else that you're not supposed to feed little kids. My mom didn't know any better because she was fed the same things as a child. I know better. I know better and I'm still eating like crap. This needs to stop.

I hate diets. I am bad at them. I have lost weight and gained in back throughout my life due to yo-yo dieting. I've tried Weight Watches, Slim Fast, Atkins, South Beach, and even the grape fruit diet. I've taken diet pills, stuck my finger down my throat, starved myself, binged, purged, and everything in between. I have horrible eating habits. Despite my awesome menus for menu planning Monday, I generally eat pretty horribly. My breakfasts are full of sugar and my lunches are usually fast food. This is what needs to change.

I caught a glimpse of myself in one of those five way mirrors in the JcPenney dressing room today. I didn't even recognize myself. Starting now, I have to change.