Work

I have been a full-time SAHM for a few weeks now, and I can honestly say that these have been the worst weeks in recent memory. It's sad but true. I hate being home full-time. Ham is not an easy child by any means, and he has found creative ways to make my life more difficult now that I am ever present. We have been put on the waiting list for a behavioral therapist, but they said it will be at least three months. Which means three more months of getting hit in the face, punched in the stomach, kicked, screamed at, charged at, and just plain beat up. I am tired of being his punching bag, and it's no longer just me. He is beginning to get violent with other children. To say that I'm worried is just the tip of the iceberg.

I am at a loss of what to do about Ham's behavior. He is just plain terrible most of the time, and it's sunk me into a depression. We have put our plans for a second child on hold as we deal with this situation. After a lot of soul searching and prayer, I've decided to apply for full-time jobs because I need to get away (we're also flat broke but that's another issue entirely).

I had my first interview with a clinic on Tuesday, and it went fantastically. I have a second interview and a two hour observation scheduled for Friday morning. I am beyond excited. This could mean much needed adult time, desperately needed income, insurance, savings, the ability to pay off our credit cards, and so much more. I don't think I have ever been this happy about going to work!

There is only one problem, what to do with Ham while I am working. I have spent a considerable amount of time searching for a special needs/behavioral issue friendly daycare provider. I have come up with a few options that I need to look into more thoroughly. It seems like very few daycare providers and teachers understand how to work with kids like Ham. I sincerely hope that I can find a good fit for both of us so we can both thrive. 

Unemployed

The title pretty much sums it up. I am without a job and considering staying that way for the long hall. I mentioned my general job related stress in my last post and it seems that I may have foreshadowed my own crappy ending. My boss and I parted ways over his inability to treat me like a decent person. I will not miss the job, but I will miss the paycheck. As of now, I am looking for a very part time job. I have applied everywhere that I know I will feel content and now I am waiting.

I was pretty torn up about this whole thing until today (my very last day of work). I have come to terms with what happened and can now move on. After a serious talk with the hubs, I now know we can survive on one income if need be. I have had homeschooling in my heart for sometime as well as another baby, so maybe this is God's way of nudging me in that direction.

I am trying to look at this as an opportunity for growth in my faith and self control as I will need both of them to get through our new (and possibly lengthy) lack of funds. We will no longer have money for eating out, shopping, entertainment, "fun money," gifts, big purchases, and the like. In short, we're broke! We will have money for the necessities; bills, food, gas, and internet (we are both going to school in part online so this is required).

This is something with which I know I will struggle. I can be quite frugal but have always lacked the self control needed for this kind of budgeting. Honestly, I am not sure I can do it and that scares me. Thankfully, hubs is on board to help me get through it. I have no credit cards and only carry a debit for necessities.

I am not going into this smiling, but I want to learn to live without frivolous distractions. I want to be able to give Ham (and all his future siblings) my full time and attention, so I am going to have to start sacrificing now. I will need all the prayers and help I can get!

What all this means for you is my LOL (Living on Less) series will make a triumphant return, I will be doing a series on traditional peasant recipes, and there will be lots of budget-minded entries. And of course, lots of Ham!

-Beth