FAT

That's right, Fat. I'm fat. I'm not particularly proud of it, but it's pretty obvious. I'm not sure why people think they can hide the fact that they are not thin. I don't really bother with it anymore. I was never really skinny per say, I used to be "in shape" when I was younger but I was always larger than some of the other girls. I have huge wrists and huge feet, which never get any smaller regardless of my weight. I'm generally larger than most ladies.

However, I do want to be healthier. I've been thinking about what I eat in front of Ham, and I am afraid that he has already started to pick up my bad habits. He seems happy to eat only chicken nuggets, and we eat out more than I'd like. I know that this can very well decide whether he will struggle with food or not. My mom fed me mac and cheese, McDonalds, Hostess snacks, cookies, chips, candy, and pretty much everything else that you're not supposed to feed little kids. My mom didn't know any better because she was fed the same things as a child. I know better. I know better and I'm still eating like crap. This needs to stop.

I hate diets. I am bad at them. I have lost weight and gained in back throughout my life due to yo-yo dieting. I've tried Weight Watches, Slim Fast, Atkins, South Beach, and even the grape fruit diet. I've taken diet pills, stuck my finger down my throat, starved myself, binged, purged, and everything in between. I have horrible eating habits. Despite my awesome menus for menu planning Monday, I generally eat pretty horribly. My breakfasts are full of sugar and my lunches are usually fast food. This is what needs to change.

I caught a glimpse of myself in one of those five way mirrors in the JcPenney dressing room today. I didn't even recognize myself. Starting now, I have to change.

The Most Stressful Week Ever!

Seriously, last week was just that! I worked full time to cover for a co-worker's vacation while attending school full time and being a wife and mother. How in the hell do people do that? I am still exhausted. This week there will be more posts! For now, good night!

Meal Planning Monday!

I am back on the wagon for this one!

Monday: Baked chicken with onions, carrots, and couscous

Tuesday: Homemade turkey joes with potatoes and salad

Wednesday: Homemade macaroni and cheese and salad

Thursday: Oatmeal waffles, turkey sausage, and fruit

Friday: Turkey bean chili

Saturday: Aloha Chicken with rice

Sunday: At the in-laws

This week I was going for fast and easy but still healthy. What are you having this week?

Tired

Lately I have been really truly tired. I mean physically exhausted much of the day despite how much sleep I get. I must admit it's scaring me. I can barely make it past noon without falling asleep. Ham's nearly constant energy is not helping this issue at all. I have been employing my mom to help me out during the day so I don't just fall over.

I am fighting the urge to nap right this moment, it's really killing me not to curl up with a blanket and snooze for an hour. I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant! Maybe I just need a vacation to get some rest. Wishful thinking.

Going it Alone

My hubs is away on business for the week, so I am going it alone with a crabby toddler cutting molars. I am armed with a medicine cabinet of children's Motrin, baby Tylenol, Highlands Teething Tablets, baby Oragel, and lots of Advil for myself. I am utterly exhausted from being up all night with him. It's been too long since I've done this, especially by myself.

For some crazy reason, I marathon cleaned the house last night. I hate being alone at night, so I cleaned. The house hasn't been this clean in months! I am trying my darndest to keep it that way. Too bad I stayed up until 1am cleaning and then had to get back up at 2am with Ham. I'm completely exhausted and I have to work today.

I have to give major props to all the single parents out there. I cannot imagine how they do it! I barely have enough time to be a mom let alone be a dad as well.

A Letter to My Ham

I realize I suck for not updating for months. Life got in the way, but I'm back. 

Ham is now just about fourteen months old, walking, running, hopping, cutting his second pair of molars, playing with the big kids at the park, developing a helluva personality, and continuing to be completely adorable. He is so much more than I ever thought he would/could be. It makes me so unbelievably happy and sad all at the same time. I am proud to be his mom, but sad to see him grow so quickly. We are officially 32lbs and 33 inches!

Here is my first, hopefully the first of many, letter to my Ham. I want to give these to him at a later date in hopes that he can appreciate what its like to be a parent someday.

Dear Little Ham,

I can't believe that it's been over a year since we first met. This has been the absolute best and most difficult year of my life. You have changed me in ways I never imagined you would. I know it sounds cheesy, but you changed me. You taught me how to ask for help, how to be patient, how to share, how to get messy, how to cry, how to laugh, how to let things go, how to sleep when I'm tired, how to pray, how to appreciate the small things, how to be calm, and how to love. I thought I knew how to do all of those things before I had you, before I even thought about getting pregnant but I was wrong. Having you made me become and adult and a better person.

The trauma of your birth was the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with. For a time, it changed me for the worse. It's not easy for me to tell you this, but I feel like you need to know. I suffered from postpartum depression, and I was afraid to get help. I didn't want people to think I didn't love you so I waited to ask for help. This was a mistake that I am still grappling with. I got help. I got better. Things got better. I learned how to be the best mother and person I could be. This is a mistake that I won't make again. I feel like you've already forgive me for it, the look in your eyes changed when I got better. I love you so much.

You have turned into such an amazing little person. In just one year you've gone from a crying potato to a mobile toddler! It has been such an amazing experience watching you learn. I can see the wheels in your head turning as you try to figure things out and how proud you are when you finally do! Most recently you've mastered running, climbing, and clapping. My daily accomplishments pale in comparison to yours. I can't wait to wake up every morning and see what you'll do next. Waking up to your smiling, often jumping, face makes every sleepless night, every headache, and every day of morning sickness worth it. I wish you knew just how much I love your smile. It really is the best thing ever.

My son, you are the most amazing thing in the world. You are going to grow up to be someone great, I just know it. You are bold, curious, silly, smart, stubborn, driven, daring, darling, loving, independent, and most of  all perfect in every way! I hope you realize just how special you when you read this. I love you now and forever my beautiful baby boy. 

Love Always,

Your Mom

Menu Planning Monday with a Twist

It's that time again, time to lay out my meal plans to share with you all. This week there is a bit of a twist. The hubs and I have been spending a lot of time on our finances lately, and decided to try and drastically slash our grocery budget. We are going to eat everything we have, with a few exceptions, and try not to buy much of anything until we've exhausted our stores. That means we are buying produce but trying not to buy much else. Of course we'll need staples like flour, rice, milk, butter, eggs, and the like. We're aiming for $50 a week to feed two adults and supplement one baby. So, here we go!

Monday: Penne with Tuna, garlic, and mozzarella and salad

Tuesday: Pan seared Fish with rice and salad

Wednesday: Homemade veggie pizza and salad

Thursday: Beef Bolognase and salad 

Friday: Leftovers or Eggs (we both work late Fridays)

Saturday: Chicken Tacos with all the fixings and Spanish rice

Sunday: Stuffed Chicken breasts, potatoes, and salad

Lunch options: Cheesy pasta with tuna (I make that on Monday for the week), quesodillas with beans, boiled eggs and toast, salad, misc leftovers

Breakfast options: cold cereal, hot cereal, yogurt, fruit, toast, bagels, eggs

Snack options: yogurt, fruit, cereal, cheese, boiled eggs, tuna, crackers, nuts

I will be giving you weekly updates on how our grocery budget slash is going. We are also slashing our eating out budget and working to keep our electricity budget down. More on all that later on.

Peace and Love to your Littles,

Beth

Become a Savvy Thrifter

For my first installment of the Living on Less series (LOL for short) I chose one of my very favorite past times, thrift shopping!

Thrift shops, you may love them or hate, but they are going to be your new best friend! Thrift shops are seriously one of the cheapest, absolute best resources for buying pretty much anything (with a few exceptions). I am an avid thrifter with twenty years of thrifting under my belt, yes mama started me young, and I am going to share my wisdom with you all. I hope that I can help you discover the many treasures hidden in your local thrift shop.

Thrifting 101

Find all your local thrift shops. You may think that Goodwill is it, but you may just be mistaken. Check out: thethriftshopper for listings of all local thrift shops. You never know what awesome shops you've been missing. I know I found a few great ones that I never knew about.

Once you've found your favorite shops, learn their schedules. It is essential to learn the best days for good finds, when they get "donations" of new goods from local retailers, when they have sales or weekly specials, and if they have coupons or discounts for students or seniors.

Make sure you know your measurements and sizes before shopping. Since these clothes are used, they may run differently than new merchandise. You should take a list of your own measurements and those of anyone you may be shopping for. I keep them on a little post-it in my wallet. You will also need a mini measuring tape which you can get at your local hardware store for a dollar or so. This will enable you to buy some items with the "ick" factor of trying them on.

Now, I will share with you my personal 10 thrift commandments:

1. Never go on Saturday. Seriously, just don't. If you don't believe me, try it and you'll never go back.

2. Don't buy socks, underwear, bras of any sort, lingere, or sleepwear because, let's face it, that's just nasty!

3. Measure or try before you buy. Most shops do not allow returns, and some don't even allow exchanges so purchase with caution.

4. Dress comfortably and be prepared to spend lots of time looking through the racks.

5. Inspect every inch of every item. Be it clothes, toys, or housewares; ensure that you look the item over thoroughly prior to buying. Look for stains, tears, rips, missing pieces, excessive wearing, or irregularities. Not all items are the treasures they seem to be.

6. Be prepared to haggle. Some shops, though not all, will allow you to bargain with them on items that are in less than perfect condition.

7. Shop in the rich neighborhoods. Rich people=expensive junk. It's pretty simple. This principle is not perfect, but it tends to work the majority of the time.

8. Check back often. Items come in everyday.

9. Number eight lends itself to number nine, buy it if you love it. Most likely that awesome vintage leather bag will not be there tomorrow so buy it now or be sorry. I don't know how many awesome deals I've missed because I put it back.

10. Have fun! Thrifting can be serious business, so allow yourself to have a good time. Take a group of girlfriends along and be silly. You may find just what you're looking for.

There you have it, you can now thrift with ease. Pretty soon you'll be surprising yourself with all your finds! Leave your thrifting tips in the comments.

Manufactured Homes and Minivans

Yes, I feel like a hillbilly for writing this post just in case you were wondering.

The hubs and I have been talking a lot about houses lately. Our conversations have consisted mostly of "Holy Sh*t we cannot afford anything in this city!" Unfortunately for us our beloved hometown has a very high cost of living for a suburban area in Indiana, so we can't afford to buy a decent house. When I say decent house what I mean is a house that is not literally falling down. Even with the housing market the way it is, a modest ranch home with a small yard is priced in the $170,000's which may not seem like a lot to some people but it is a lot to us. Being a mostly one income family with student loans, car payments, rent, a child, and no trust funds we are in need of a cheaper option.

I stumbled across a blog about living simply, which I cannot find a link for anymore, and they talked a lot about ultra tiny manufactured homes. I am not up for the challenge of living in a super small home, but manufactured homes have come a long way since I was a kid. Check these babies out!

A classic ranch

Solar energy efficient model

They even have SMART homes (You can actually walk through one at Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry)

I love all the options they offer, especially the eco friendly models. Also the fact that you get to customize everything from start to finish is a major plus! Most of these homes are around $100,000 or less which includes transportation to site, onsite construction, and even sewer and water lines. When you walk into your home it is completely done (it is even painted) and ready to live in! What more could you ask for? Most of the land outside the city limits is priced super cheaply as it is pretty rural. We have always wanted a nice patch of country to call our own. Now, we just have to buckle down and save some more money!

You may be wondering what minivans have to do with anything. Well, I've decided that with my limited trunk space (I drive a hatch-back) I can barely tote around one child's things. What happens if we decided to have another or our child has lots of friends? My answer is a mini van! I am totally going to be one of those moms. When I pay my car off in two years, I will looking into a minivan of my very own. Hopefully, I can park my minivan in the drive way of my very own manufactured home. Yup, I never thought I would ever say that. :)

Have any of your expectations changed drastically since you have children/got married? Have you surprised yourself?

Peace and Love to your Littles,

Beth

I am This Week's FFF Guest Poster!

I am proud to have my story featured on The Fearless Formula Feeder blog as their Friday guest poster! Check it out and show your FFF pride: http://fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com/2011/07/fff-friday-i-finally-feel-like-mother-i.html

Peace and Love to your Littles

Beth